Relationships whether spiritual, financial, familial or general are the core of all human interactions and thus need to be managed to enjoy maximum benefits from the rewards of Allah.
Whether we are coordinating a project at work, expressing concern for a loved one or discussing ideas with friends, we will find ourselves influencing the quality of each and every relationship we are in. Our interaction however, is expected to leave a positive influence in the lives of those that matter in our lives.
Call it Emotional bank account (as in Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of highly effective people) or love Bank Account like Stephen Harvey (a clinical psychologist) calls it in his private practise, it refers to how we keep tract of how we treat each other.
Using the principle of any bank account, the LBA applies the measures of deposits, withdrawal, bankruptcy, dormancy, currency e.t.c.
It is applied in our relationship with Allah, as we are aware that the book of good and bad deeds is not opened until one attains puberty; suffice to say our account with Allah is at neutral until puberty is attained. Same is said for our relationships with one another which does not become activated until we meet or becomes dormant if we let it go.
Ever wondered how an EBA goes bankrupt?
It is actually no different from your regular financial account. It occurs when you have no deposits in your accounts. As related in the Quran,
“ye are the best of mankind, we enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil”. Our attaining Allah’s pleasure is not relegated to doing good or just avoiding evil…” (Q3:110)We have to do both to maintain an important balance. Thus in reviewing our relationship we must be able to identify if we are making enough deposits that will outweigh our withdrawals (which are because of our innate human nature are unavoidable).
Same case with dormancy, some relationship we just let go because of our ineptitude in managing relationships, be they long time friends or kins living far away. Still we must put in mind that our connection or lack of it says something about our accounts.
Reactivating our love bank accounts Muslim style helps us re-evaluate our relationships and revive the connection, strengthen it or actively build new ones.
So how much do you worth?
We know that certain currencies do not worth their salt in the global market, same for some deeds. You can have a bag-load of good deeds so much so you are notorious for it, but in the sight of Allah, they don’t worth a dime. Same applies to our other relationships too, because we keep doing what we think should be deposits in their LBA but do not worth much in the currency of those involved.
With emphasis on our spiritual connection with Allah, our parents and spouses top the list of relationships we have to evaluate and ensure we are giving maximum attention to.
It is important that we maintain a minimum healthy balance that ensures we meet Allah in good standing in the hereafter by preserving good relations in this world.
Simple methods of perking our Love Bank Accounts to a healthy balance include:
v Paying the right currency: this involves us understanding the emotional needs of one another, and giving healthy dose of it.
o The kind of affection you’ll express to your parents is different from that which you will show your spouse or children.
v Don’t sweat the small stuffs: Attending to the little things consistently not only puts you in good standing with Allah but in your relationships as well.
v Keeping commitments, promises and faith.
v Walk the talk: this is about personal integrity which implies we do the right thing, the right way as at when due.
v Don’t hesitate to apologize
v Avoid the Love busters such as selfishness, inconsideration, overreacting, betraying trust and more especially not paying due attention to duties or obligations expected of us a child, spouse, parent, friend or colleague.
May Allah make it easy for us, amin.
